Auror Darkened
by DiamondsandRust
Summary: Post DH - Ron Weasly is an Auror, but he seems to have lost his light.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, FF world! First of all thank you for checking out my story. I'm kind of stressing about posting it. First, because English is not my native language and a bit worried how it all turned out. Second, because it's the first thing I am putting out. I had written few things for school, but it was nowhere near something like this. **

**So, here it is. **

**P.S. I know I am not following canon strictly. I hope you don't mind that. **

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Chapter 1

Hallway of the Auror's Department was packed with people that day. Color pattern thatdominated was red and yellow, closely followed by some yellow and blue. Black and yellow stood in groops and in the deepest corners, almost shyly, stood some green.

It was July 15th, the day Department held a meeting and tests for new applicants. The date was chosen carefully. Given the fact that the school year at Hogwarts ended in June, Ministry thought it wise to give graduates some time to rest before putting them through very tortorous process of becoming an Auror. This tradition was broken only few times. The last time was in the year of the Battle, four years ago. Aurors were seriously lacking people and they decided to extend some offers for joining. Death Eaters that escaped had to be captured and there was no time to loose on training. They needed well-trained witches and wizards with experience in battle and Harry Potter, Ron Weasly and Neville Longbottom were deemed fit even though they were barely seventeen. So they were few of the handpicked ones and definitely the youngest to join the Order. They were the best of friends.

He sat in his office with his back turned to the table looking at the window. It was easy to mistake his state for deep thinking. The truth was - his mind was blank. He was just desperately trying to ignore the soft murmur coming from the hallways even through the thick doors. Seconds later, there was a knock on them.

"Come in!" he yelled.

"Uh..." came inarticulate sound behind his back but he quickly turned to look at the imposter. "Ron, we're about to begin, so..."

"I'm coming" Ron replied.

"OK, see you then..." said Neville awkwardly and closed the door behind him.

Ron pushed himself up from the chair and as he was ready to leave the office he caught a glimpse of himself in the glass of a cabinet. Piercing blue eyes that somewhere along the way became cold and narrow stared back at him. Dark clothes underneath the brown trench coat accentuated paleness of his skin that couldn't be mended even by the summer sun. His hair was still flaming red. That was probably the only thing that stayed the same. It was cut short now, thought, exposing every part of his face and neck... And the scar. Long, hand-carved like line begain right beside his right ear and wend down across his neck finally disappearing beneath his clothes.

He wasn't seventeen anymore. And he was no one's friend.

People still knew him by his name. They still called him Ronald Weasly. For all he knew, that man was dead. He just shared some resemblance with his ghost.

Without any movement on his face he put his wand in an inside pocket and left the office.

Once in the hallway he stared at the river of people that stood between him and his goal - heavy double wooden doors with iron hinges. He made the first step exiting the shadows and moved forward. With each step he made, they parted and let him pass. It appeared they all stopped doing what ever they were doing and had their eyes glue to his face now. Some of them whispered, but he didn't pay any attention to what they were saying. He stopped doing that a long time ago. One more step and he saw two familiar face that apparently waited for him.

"Hey, mate!" Harry greeted him.

Ron just nodded shortly.

"Did you see how many applicants we have this year?" Neville said and glanced at Harry oddly.

He turned his head and looked over his shoulder.

"Some people never learn" he said coldly. "We starting soon?"

"Yes, Elders are already inside" Harry replied.

Elders were simply the most experienced members of the Order accompanied by Professor McGonagall, post War headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the Minister of Magic. Professor McGonagall was there to vouch for academics and talent of the applicants. Minister of Magic, of course, was there to express his gratitude for their decision to devote their academics and talent to a cause of keeping their world safe. Elders that actually belonged to the Order were the part of the intelligence squad when things were regular and chiefs in command when they weren't. Harry, Ron and Neville were neither... They were there as an ecouragement. Familiar faces that those who get accepted will come to hate once the training begins.

Ron pushed the door open and entered without knocking. This didn't come as surprise to any of those already seated at the big table. Minister Kingsley nodded in his direction.

"Let them in" he said after a short exchange with the rest.

As Ron walked towards his seat at the table, he desperately tried to ignore Professor McGonagall's eyes filled with concern and... pitty.

Soon, the room was filled with young people staring at faces of each and every one of these _heroes_ as if they are going to get an instant answer about how bright their future will become. And each of those faces was supposed to give some sort of speech.

Voices got to his ears but he couldn't care less to make out the words. He knew the welcoming speech by hear and it made him sick. Professor McGonagall talked about how proud she was of them, Minister thanked them for deciding to take such a big step in helping keep safety of their world a priority and then Proudfoot, Head of the Order stood up and Ron felt bile rising up to his throat.

"... As you all know we will have to send some of home today. Don't be discouraged, be thankful instead. Be grateful that we want the best for you. That we want the best for this world. Therefore, we must build a chain of the strongest links. Chain that we will use to secure the door and keep out any threat that may come our way..."

_Blah! Blah! Blah! _

Same words every year. As Proudfoot finished his _inspirational _speech Ron looked at those young faces and how they were all in awe, listening, drowning in every word. By their looks he could tell that they already pictured themselves propped on flying brooms, soaring across the sky and taking down some vicious monster. Children...

He wasn't sure what angered him more; the fact that they were so ignorrant and believed in fairytales of greatness or that some of them knew and still decided to come. It was a good thing for the Order that he had no say in deciding who gets accepted and who goes home weeping. If he had, he would send them all home.

Head of the Order then went and presented every one of them. They all had warm words of welcome or at least a smile. But, not him. Once his name was said he barely ackowledged it. He just lifted his finger to avoid being mistaken for someone else.

He hated these meetings. They were boring to say the least and he absolutely abhored their purpose. Finally, they read the list of tests and order in which they will be taken. First on the list was The Pensive where the applicants will have to offer their memories for examination in order to be determined if they were mentally stable. According to the Order it was one of the key virtues an Auror must posses. And then he watched their young faces turn pale in horror, red in embarrasment and green with nausea. He couldn't help but snort. If they only knew.

Soon, the meeting was over and he exhaled in relief... Something, he quickly realized was a premature reaction once Professor McGonagall started walking towards him.

"Mr. Weasley" she greeted him.

"Professor" he replied standing up.

"I must say I'm a little disappointed that we only get to see each other in these welcoming meetings" she said sternly. "If I'm not mistaken you've been invited to every single event at Hogwarts. Yet, you never show".

"Yes, and thank you, but... I've been busy-"

"Yes, I've heard, Mr. Weasley" she interrupted him. "Quite an Auoror you became".

Ron said nothing.

"How's your family?"

He felt a surge of panic upon hearing this question. He could say anything; he could say that they were doing great and that his mother was experiencing some back pain or that his father was burried in work on Muggle Studies... Something regular, mundane. But, he didn't. Because he simply didn't know.

He stopped going home a year after the Battle. The last time he saw them all was at one year mark of Fred's death. Now, he saw Ginny occasionaly when she came to see Harry. They were really serious. He heard something about a wedding next year. He also saw his father several times when they bumped into each other in the Ministry. Last time they spoke Arthur told him how heartbroken his mother was over his behavior and he decided to avoid any contact after that.

"Mr. Weasly?" McGonagall put a stop to his wandering thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I must go".

And he left without a second glance. Professor McGonagall watched him leave and let out a heavy sigh. "Poor boy" she mouthed barely above a whisper.

Ron almost ran out in the hallway breathing heavily. He instantly stooped and tried to regain posture when he saw Harry a little further showing what seemed to be the last group of applicants directions.

"Ron!" Harry called and Ron's plan to go unnoticed fell through.

"Yeah?" he said as he came closer.

"Loads of people applied this year. Would you mind helping with coordiantion? Neville and I are busting our asses..."

Ron was already thinking of a good excuse to refuse Harry's plea when their attention was caught by a voice behind their backs.

"I'm sorry to bother you" blond boy holding a girl's hand began with more courage he acutally had. "My name is William Murphy. This is Anna. Anna Ellis. We saw you and we just couldn't miss the opportunity to speak to you."

"Hi. I'm Harry Potter. Nice to meet you" Harry extended his hand immediately followed by a friendly smile. "You two applied this year?"

"Yes" William continued now visibly shaken. "We applied together and we hope we will both pass. It's our dream".

Ron had his eyes fixed on their interwined fingers.

"And you're Ronald Weasley, sir" the boy went on hoping for at least an eye contact with another hero. "Is it true that you took down a warewolf barehanded?"

Ron didn't reply. Situation was quickly becoming severly awkward and Harry decided to jump in.

"Yes, it's true. He's got scars to prove it" he attempted a joke.

"Bloody brilliant!" Ron spat.

"E-excuse me..." the boy muttered and Harry shot him a glance.

"Go home!" he said looking at them intently.

"Sorry, sir... I don't think I under-"

"Ron" Harry said in a warning tone.

"Go home. If you care about each other - do it!"

They were staring at him eyes wide open. Harry once again tried to stop him, but he already continued.

"Or if you don't... Then, don't do this... This... hand-holding thing" he motioned towards their palms with disgust. "Don't bond! Don't depend on each other! One day the other one might not be around and you'll be bloody screwed".

"Do yourselves a favor. Go home!" he finished, turned and hurried down the hall.

William and Ann looked as his waving robe got further and further away with their mouth and eyes open trying to realize what just happened. Harry, on the other hand, bowed his head slightly knowing full well the answer to that question.

"He lost someone important, didn't he?" Ann dared to speak in a weak voice. Her eyes were starting to get watery.

Harry nodded.

"Yeah, he did" he said as the door slammed hard and the sound echoed against the walls. "Himself".

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**There... **

**I have next few chapters drafted, so tell me if I should continue this story. **

**In case you think I should I'll do my best to be as fast as updates as I can. Once a week is the best I can do for now, though. **

**Thanks for reading :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello, again. This was faster then I expected, but I needed to post this chapter before I can go on with the story and especially before I can change it again. It's short and I apologize to all of you who enjoy long chapters, but anything longer would be too dragged out. **

**Hope you enjoy it and I'll try to explain a few things in another note at the end. **

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Chapter 2

His thoughts were a mess and no door slamming could bring him out of it. He was furious; at Professor McGonagall for asking stupid questions over and over again, at Harry for not leaving him alone once and for all, at those two brats parading with their 'we are a happy couple' picture... At himself, for letting all of that affect him in ways it did.

What he wanted the most is for people to stop pretending like they live in a beautiful world. The world sucked. And like that wasn't enough! Now they wanted it to suck for those kids, too?!

He smiled bitterly.

Who knows what kind of fairytale books those people were reading when they considered him a hero. A hero has to care. A hero has to have a higher purpose, a goal, a world to save... Princess to kiss.

_Don't go there, idiot! _

Too late.

Ron sat down in the chair and rubbed his face. Once a year he allowed himself to let memories take over. Usually in September, when he'd buy something for her birthday and read a story from her copy of 'Tales of Beedle the Bard'. He wouldn't come to work that day. He didn't give excuses to anyone as to why. It wasn't his style.

This year, September came early.

Four years ago things were different. In the meantime he grew tired of listening to people telling him how he has changed. It took a while, but they seem to have grown tired of it, too. It simply had no effect. It's not like he would wake up one morning and all of the sudden their words would snap him out of what ever he was in. He was a completely different person now. They just had to deal with it.

And it all started one week after the Battle of Hogwarts.

Their world celebrated victory and mourned the fallen. Weasleys weren't spared. He clearly remembered the unbearable silence that engulfed the Burrow in those days. There wasn't running up and down the stairs, Ginny wasn't shouting at him like he was the one to blame for every single thing that would go missing in the house. There was no sound of gentle scrubbing against the dirty dishes or clincking of the knitting needles. Their improvised Quidith pitch wasn't used and it looked like it'll never be again. All he could hear were queit sobs of his parents they would try to swallow every time any of them walked in the room.

He almost started hating his home.

She was the only one who could make it better. It wasn't because of anything wise she would say, though she did try. It wasn't because she knew when to hold his hand or when to kiss him. She was just there. She was Hermione. That alone was enough.

Harry was there, too. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders and enough guilt to last a lifetime, but he and Ginny were there for one another. Few times he heard them laughing, but they would stop after few seconds like on command. Ron always thought they made themselves stop out of guilt for letting it happen in the first place. He wished they knew that those few seconds were what gave him hope that one day they would all be able to do the same. He never told them that.

Ron remembered how Hermione didn't talk as much as she used to. In fact, she would be quiet for hours. He'd try to say something stupid just so she would at least look at him. Then he started doing stupid things so she would get angry. It didn't work. At nights, he pretended he was asleep and listened to her heavy sighs. He never said anything because somewhere deep down he knew she wouldn't want to talk about it. Or maybe he was just too afraid he wouldn't know what to say and that he would only make it worse. It was a long time ago and he didn't care about the reasons.

One night, as she lay on his shoulder sighs became sniffs. He felt his T-shirt go damp and before he knew it he blurted out her name. He said ' 'Mione ', actually. She stiffened and tried to lie, but there was no point. He wanted to talk, she didn't and theystarted arguing.

_"_Fine, you don't have to talk. But I love you and I just want to be able to help you, like you've been helping me".

It was probably the first time he managed to say something articulate and rounded without curse words and 'uhms'. The truth was he had planned it for days and given everything it turned out pretty well.

It became even better when she said it back.

She hugged him, then; held onto him for dear life and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. There didn't have to be, for all he cared. He tried so hard not to feel embarrased by the sound his heart made. When she timidly put her palm over it, a sudden realization hit him; why should he be afraid to let her feel what he couldn't say. It was like he matured in that moment, like he found out the ultimate truth. It's not like his palms weren't sweating anymore, he just didn't mind if she noticed when he touched her.

She didn't stop him when he did, so he looked at her... Terrified.

Her eyes weren't seductive, but they were unmistakably inviting. He starred at the corner of her lips waiting for it to move. Upwards, he hoped. She finally gave a small smirk and he chuckled. _Wicked. _

_"_Fair warning, Ron. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do" she said weakly.

And it was clumsy and bumpy. And yes, he accidently put his elbow on her loose hair, causin her to yelp and she did almost died laughing when he fell on top of her after she accidently kicked his knee. Minutes later, as they stared at the ceiling and giggled he was pretty sure that was how bliss felt. Then she cried a little. He held her close and told her he loved her again. When he asked he how she was feeling, she simply said '_Alive_'. They fell asleep and after a long time he was looking forward to the next day.

He couldn't possibly know that she was going to tell him about her plans to go after her parents to Australia. Alone.

Ron called her mental and barmy. She then cried again and told him that what happened between them gives him no right to treat her like that. He spent the rest of the day apologizing, of course.

Upon hearning about her intentions the whole Weasley clan put an effort to convice her that it wasn't a good time. She finally agreed, but still insisted on visiting the Ministry to learn about her options and reversal of the Obliviate charm.

It was Wednesday morning when she left. She wore black blazer over gray knee-lenght dress. Her hair was put up in a loose bun and even though Ron thought she looked beautiful, he had to ask why she chose such formal attire.

"I plan on building a career there one day, Ronald. I don't think they would ever take me seriously if I showed up wearing a pink sweater and frizzy hair" she replied confidently.

"It worked for Umbridge" he mocked her.

"All the more reason".

That Wednesday, May 10th, was the last time he saw her. He bit all of his nails until afternoon and by nightfall Harry and Ron were at the Ministry while Arthur went to notify the Department of Aurors. They tried to speak with every single person that saw her that day. Kingsley had no information of her whereabouts even though he gave them full details about the course of their conversation. He sent them home and promised them they'd do everything in their power to find her.

None of them slept that night.

By tomorrow, every corner had a MISSING poster plastered on. He watched angrily as people approached them, read, shook and bowed their heads in apparent pain in disappointment.

They turned every stone, but she was no where to be found. Every possible tracing system failed. It was as if the Earth had swallowed her.

Before they knew it a month had passed.

They were all in the living room when Harry got back from the Ministry. He accepted the offer from Aurors to join their ranks and now he was there every day for consultations. He was tired, like every night, but this time there was something else. Ron knew he will never forget the look on his face.

Harry lifted his hand and held something wrapped in red velvet.

"They found her wand" he stated and swallowed.

He was staring back at Harry in disbelief. He saw faces distorted in pain out of the corners of his eyes and listened to their cries.

"They found her wand, Ron"

"Shut up" he said firmly.

"They tested it. It's hers" Harry continued in shaky voice as if having to spit it out.

"Shut up!" Ron repeated threatingly.

"They said there wasn't anything else. Just some... um, bl-... blood stains on the fl-" tears got to him and he couldn't finish.

"I SAID, SHUT UP!" Ron growled making every eye in the room attach to his red face and darkened eyes. He made a step towards Harry, snatched the package out of his hand and went up the stairs.

No one came to see him that night.

The next morning he climbed down and found everyone seated at the table.

"Tell Kingsley I'll accept the offer".

With that, he left the house.

From that day forward the only thing on her became to hunt down and punish what took her. He didn't know who was guilty, but to him every evil thing they came across served well; if guilty - good, mission acomplished, if not - great test subject to see if he could make them scream loud enough.

He became famous. A hero. Routhless, unforgiving hunter. People congratulated him at first. After a while they became too frightened to come near. Just ocasionally, someone would shyly say '_how they sleep better knowing he's out there' _or '_You're so brave'... _It's easy to be brave when you've got nothing to lose, he'd always reply.

Yet, there were tiniest threads hodling him together, keeping him from going over the edge. He'd ignore them and deny the fact that there's so much more he could lose. He does that most of the year.

But, sometimes memories come and he lets them take over. Then the old Ron lives. It usually happens in September when he buys something for her birthday and reads the story from her copy of 'Tales of Beedle the Bard'. Especially now...When September came early... Unexpected... Just to knock him down.

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**Just some comments about the chapter: **

**- first, I like writing dialogues and I have no idea how it turned out that I have put only few spoken lines in this one. I know that this kind of chapters are sometimes hard to read so I tried to keep my paragraphs and the chapter itself shorter. **

**- second, frist draft of this chapter had flashbacks which I decided to rewrite. I had a hard time picking out the right moments and keep it fluid, so I went with this approach. I hope it wasn't a mistake. *frown***

**- third, don't worry about Weasleys. They are in there somewhere... I had to write this chapter like this because its purpose wasn't to retrace every step Ron took in the past four years. **

**- and YES... as Zalini mentioned in the review it will be a bit dark and depressing ( not pathetic, hopefully ) at first but it will lighten up. **

**- and YES, I know it's all a bit confusing right now but I don't plan to make this story too long, so you'll learn more soon. **

**Thanks for reading, folks. **


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